You're allowed to change your mind (again)

Saying yes to being wishy-washy!

For nearly seven years, my husband and I were firmly anti-pet. We had our reasons: pets are too much work, they make your house smell weird, and they require a level of consistency we weren’t interested in offering. We even swore our future kids wouldn’t have pets either.

“Never ever,” we’d say with a laugh. And we meant it.

Then we met our baby boy.

An eight-week-old stray puppy was found hiding under a car in the blazing Texas sun. He was brought to the nearest emergency vet clinic where, serendipitously, my sister happens to be a veterinarian.

Usually, healthy animals aren’t treated at emergency hospitals, but they made an exception. He would stay temporarily before being transferred to a shelter for adoption.

My sister sent us a photo of him—tiny, wide-eyed, and nameless. My husband and I looked at the picture, then at each other, and in that unspoken moment, we just knew. There was no logic or debate. Just certainty.

“We want him!” I texted back immediately.

She thought we’d lost our minds, understandably. We’d been loud and clear about our indifference toward pets. But we hadn’t lost it. We were serious.

That night, she brought him home, and we raced over faster than kids running to the tree on Christmas morning!

Our puppy, Charlie—now named, now ours—is a tiny tornado. But even in the chaos of his chewing, crate training, and bedtime zoomies, we’re absolutely absorbed by him! We’re wrapped around his precious paws! And during our infertility journey, he’s exactly what our little family needed. He filled a space in our home and hearts we didn’t even know was empty.

---

For a long time, I wore my ability to stick to a decision like a badge of honor. I believed it made me dependable, respectable, and grounded. But looking back, I realize that mindset was often rooted in fear—especially before I understood my ADHD. For most of my life, people labeled me as inconsistent, impulsive, or just plain “wishy-washy.” I feared that changing my mind about anything would somehow deem me unlovable or burdensome. So, I masked my ADHD and clung to certainty.

“Oh no! I don’t do pets.”
"I’m a social media girly! I love it!”
"Yeah, I plan to work marketing forever!”
"I respond to everyone! I’m a social butterfly!”
"I always have a trip planned! I’m a world traveler!”
"Oh no, I never eat junk food!”

These weren’t just preferences—they became parts of my identity. But when identity becomes rigid, it starts to feel more like a cage than a foundation.

This year has been all about change. Not the superficial, scroll-inspired kind, but deep, soul-led transformation. I’ve let go of titles I once held tightly. I’ve opened myself up to things I used to avoid. I’ve fallen in love with slower weekends, quiet mornings, and a kind of privacy I once feared meant brand failure.

Through it all, I’ve learned something important: changing your mind isn’t something to be ashamed of. It’s a skill worth learning—and a sign of maturity, not inconsistency.

---

How to Change Your Mind with Integrity

If you’re considering a big shift and wondering whether it’s wisdom or a whim, here are seven questions that help me navigate with clarity. I pray they help you, too!

1. Is this about growth or escape?
   Are you changing direction because something no longer aligns with your values, or simply because it’s hard? Growth is often uncomfortable, too. Don’t mistake difficulty for a detour.

2. What is the emotional tone behind this decision?
   Does this new direction feel light, joyful, and freeing—or is it fueled by anxiety, frustration, or pressure? The emotions tied to your decision are powerful clues about whether it's a healthy shift or a reactive escape.

3. Do I still believe in the “why” behind my original decision?
   If the reason you started no longer holds true, it may be time to re-evaluate what you’re doing and how you’re doing it. Changing your mind doesn’t erase your past; it honors your present.

4. Can I own this change out loud?
   When a choice is grounded in truth, you can share it without over-explaining. You’re allowed to evolve. You also owe it to yourself to stand confidently in that evolution.

5. Have I taken time to sit with this, or am I reacting in the moment?
   Not every emotion deserves a decision. Give yourself space to process it. Sleep on it, pray on it, journal about it. Clarity doesn’t always come quickly, and sometimes, the wisest move is to wait before you move.

6. What would I do if no one else had an opinion about it?
   Strip away expectations, pressure, and outside noise. If this decision was just between you and God—or you and your future self—what would you choose? Often, the most aligned direction becomes clear when you remove the audience.

7. Can I accept the trade-offs that come with this change?
   Every “yes” is a “no” to something else. Are you willing to embrace the discomfort, discipline, or responsibility that might come with this new direction? Changing your mind responsibly means being honest about what the change will require of you. Saying “yes” to Charlie meant saying “no” to good sleep, writing time, and peace in our household for a few months! Lol

---

When done with intention, changing your mind is not flakiness—it’s freedom. It shows that you’re paying attention to your life and choosing to move forward and not remain stagnant.

And if a little dog named Charlie can teach me that, imagine what your next “never ever” might become.