When I surrendered my life to God, the Bible began to come alive for the first time in my life. It wasn’t like an old book that my “elders” talked about but instead..it became an active word that began to manifest into my life. As I read your words, I realize how alive they are. Everything is felt. What a gift you have been given by God to write like you do. You have encouraged me, and I want to encourage you back. I speak life into you my sister in Christ. There is life in your womb. You are fruitful. May it be manifested in the physical now. In Jesus name I pray. Amen 🙏🏾 🌸
Thank you so much for these encouraging words, for responding, for seeing my heart! all of it! I thank you and appreciate you! And I am receive your prayer as I pray along with you! Thank you Brittney!!
Lawd Isis 😩 why did this have to get my water works going so early in the morning? I also relate to this season. Yesterday I found myself writing in my journal “Dear God, I’m sorry for being a spoiled and entitled brat” Because I’ve been praying for healing for years and I realized lately I’ve been having a attitude with the lord for not answering my prayers in the way that I wanted them to be answered. As if the way that I think my life should go is better than his way (I struggle with this).
I also, realized in my journey of becoming a therapist, that I associate my thoughts with my identity. If I feel lonely that day than I unconsciously believe I’m a lonely person or if I feel sad that day I unconsciously believe I’m a sad person, when in reality my thoughts are just thoughts and my feelings are just feeling. A child of God is my identity and my baseline to any feeling or thought I may have but trying to remember that has been hard. Anyways I appreciate you for being so open. It was timely and I love you and pray peace, love, joy, and fruit over your life.
also this " I associate my thoughts with my identity....I feel sad that day I unconsciously believe I’m a sad person" wow yes!!! THANK YOU for your insights and words!!! I am covering you on this journey and through this next month of fasting, praying and studying Matthew, too!
Girl. I had to leave and coem back becuasue when i read "water works" i started to cry AGAIN! Honey, He may be a little tired of us both becuase I've had a little attitude myself. I'm still working through it honestly. Which is why I'm looking forward to this next month and praying it gives me some peace.
I had to come back and drop another comment because…wow…all of this! Every single one of your reflections spoke to me and as I lay here with tears running down my face; I am grateful for all the ways and people God is speaking through and to me this season.
I appreciate you for coming back and sharing that they related/connected to you because it’s a raw feeling.. sharing inner thoughts like this and learning outloud so I appreciate being in this with you!! And I’m really excited to read your articles!!
This was really beautiful and I’m so looking forward to reading your findings! Lately I’ve realized that it’s so important to be in that Bible so we can really understand who God was and how His grace still applies to us today. 🩷
“Right after the “high” of Jesus’s baptism, He’s led straight into the wilderness to be tempted. What struck me most was how the devil begins:
If You are the Son of God…”
I’ve had this moment recently and I had really silence everything and have an honest conversation with God himself because I realized the reason why the enemy questioned my identity and I fell for it … is because I hadn’t spent more time with God to affirm me more. I was starting to entertain other thoughts that weren’t from God.
WOW!!! This is good Nozi! thank you for sharing because I've felt this too, recently, honestly. "i fell for it" whew! I'm excited to walk through this month with you and hear your thoughts on the remaining chapters!
Amen!! Yes!! And we’ve all have wished before that we could see the full picture — but I personally haven’t stopped to think that sometimes “the full picture” includes 28 generations of chaos! Lol
Amen!! Yes!! I started writing a post called “you’re not being punished, you’re being prepared”. But I have to sit on it a little longer and let God work through some things in me first!!!
This was really good. Thank you for sharing with us.
I like "Jesus came from sinners and for sinners..." from the Day 1 reflection.
From Day 2, I strongly relate to wrestling with the image of a "good God." You voiced my struggle perfectly: "I know the answer is yes...but I don't feel the answer is yes." I've had some long-held dreams/timelines broken in the last year, and though I know it's for my good and have peace, I have stopped praying boldly in certain areas. I just don't want to deal with the cognitive dissonance of simultaneously holding faith, disappointment, and confusion. I'm asking God to continue to heal my heart and view of Him. It's a process.
This feeling of disappointment, and perhaps faith fatigue, reminds me of 2 Kings 4, the story of Elisha and the Woman from Shunem, "Did I ask you for a son, my lord? And didn't I say, 'Don't deceive me and get my hopes up'?" (2 Kings 4:28). I appreciated the rawness of her response and am comforted knowing that other women of faith put words to my heart's cry.
Thank you for this Isis. Replying to the question for chapter 2: I have realized that even though I tell God that I surrender everything to him, I feel like there are somethings that I haven’t yet. Some I’m aware of and some not, and some I honestly don’t want to. And for a while I never really acknowledged it or even be honest with him about it. It’s only been recently that I’m trying to be as honest as possible with him and myself.
It used to bug me a lot that I was still holding onto things and not willing to let go. But I’m learning that that is ok. God knows when I’m ready to let go and he’ll be there when I finally do.
Have you read Breanna Blain’s “Can I Say That” yet? 👀
I haven't!! But i just read the blurb and I will be reading it this week!! Thank you for the rec!!
When I surrendered my life to God, the Bible began to come alive for the first time in my life. It wasn’t like an old book that my “elders” talked about but instead..it became an active word that began to manifest into my life. As I read your words, I realize how alive they are. Everything is felt. What a gift you have been given by God to write like you do. You have encouraged me, and I want to encourage you back. I speak life into you my sister in Christ. There is life in your womb. You are fruitful. May it be manifested in the physical now. In Jesus name I pray. Amen 🙏🏾 🌸
Thank you so much for these encouraging words, for responding, for seeing my heart! all of it! I thank you and appreciate you! And I am receive your prayer as I pray along with you! Thank you Brittney!!
Lawd Isis 😩 why did this have to get my water works going so early in the morning? I also relate to this season. Yesterday I found myself writing in my journal “Dear God, I’m sorry for being a spoiled and entitled brat” Because I’ve been praying for healing for years and I realized lately I’ve been having a attitude with the lord for not answering my prayers in the way that I wanted them to be answered. As if the way that I think my life should go is better than his way (I struggle with this).
I also, realized in my journey of becoming a therapist, that I associate my thoughts with my identity. If I feel lonely that day than I unconsciously believe I’m a lonely person or if I feel sad that day I unconsciously believe I’m a sad person, when in reality my thoughts are just thoughts and my feelings are just feeling. A child of God is my identity and my baseline to any feeling or thought I may have but trying to remember that has been hard. Anyways I appreciate you for being so open. It was timely and I love you and pray peace, love, joy, and fruit over your life.
also this " I associate my thoughts with my identity....I feel sad that day I unconsciously believe I’m a sad person" wow yes!!! THANK YOU for your insights and words!!! I am covering you on this journey and through this next month of fasting, praying and studying Matthew, too!
Girl. I had to leave and coem back becuasue when i read "water works" i started to cry AGAIN! Honey, He may be a little tired of us both becuase I've had a little attitude myself. I'm still working through it honestly. Which is why I'm looking forward to this next month and praying it gives me some peace.
I had to come back and drop another comment because…wow…all of this! Every single one of your reflections spoke to me and as I lay here with tears running down my face; I am grateful for all the ways and people God is speaking through and to me this season.
p.s. I’ll be reading along with you!
I appreciate you for coming back and sharing that they related/connected to you because it’s a raw feeling.. sharing inner thoughts like this and learning outloud so I appreciate being in this with you!! And I’m really excited to read your articles!!
This was really beautiful and I’m so looking forward to reading your findings! Lately I’ve realized that it’s so important to be in that Bible so we can really understand who God was and how His grace still applies to us today. 🩷
Yes!! I agree! Bible + prayer are two of the easiest and most intentional ways to stay connected to him!! <3
“Right after the “high” of Jesus’s baptism, He’s led straight into the wilderness to be tempted. What struck me most was how the devil begins:
If You are the Son of God…”
I’ve had this moment recently and I had really silence everything and have an honest conversation with God himself because I realized the reason why the enemy questioned my identity and I fell for it … is because I hadn’t spent more time with God to affirm me more. I was starting to entertain other thoughts that weren’t from God.
WOW!!! This is good Nozi! thank you for sharing because I've felt this too, recently, honestly. "i fell for it" whew! I'm excited to walk through this month with you and hear your thoughts on the remaining chapters!
Also day 4
Comparison is my enemy.
If’s are getting in my way
If he blessed her
If he loves me……why not
If if if
Love this! I relate so much!! To many “ifs” not enough “so whats!”
That God has a plan and his plans are for good.That if he had to use perfect people than none of his plans would be executed.
Thanks for the clarification on that chapter!!!!!!
Amen!! Yes!! And we’ve all have wished before that we could see the full picture — but I personally haven’t stopped to think that sometimes “the full picture” includes 28 generations of chaos! Lol
“When the waiting season stops feeling like a season and starts feeling like a lifetime.”
Can we talk about it👏🏾. When it starts feeling like punishment instead of God stretching you and preparing you. Bookmarked♥️
Amen!! Yes!! I started writing a post called “you’re not being punished, you’re being prepared”. But I have to sit on it a little longer and let God work through some things in me first!!!
So powerful and convicting! Thanks for sharing!
This was really good. Thank you for sharing with us.
I like "Jesus came from sinners and for sinners..." from the Day 1 reflection.
From Day 2, I strongly relate to wrestling with the image of a "good God." You voiced my struggle perfectly: "I know the answer is yes...but I don't feel the answer is yes." I've had some long-held dreams/timelines broken in the last year, and though I know it's for my good and have peace, I have stopped praying boldly in certain areas. I just don't want to deal with the cognitive dissonance of simultaneously holding faith, disappointment, and confusion. I'm asking God to continue to heal my heart and view of Him. It's a process.
This feeling of disappointment, and perhaps faith fatigue, reminds me of 2 Kings 4, the story of Elisha and the Woman from Shunem, "Did I ask you for a son, my lord? And didn't I say, 'Don't deceive me and get my hopes up'?" (2 Kings 4:28). I appreciated the rawness of her response and am comforted knowing that other women of faith put words to my heart's cry.
Thank you for this Isis. Replying to the question for chapter 2: I have realized that even though I tell God that I surrender everything to him, I feel like there are somethings that I haven’t yet. Some I’m aware of and some not, and some I honestly don’t want to. And for a while I never really acknowledged it or even be honest with him about it. It’s only been recently that I’m trying to be as honest as possible with him and myself.
It used to bug me a lot that I was still holding onto things and not willing to let go. But I’m learning that that is ok. God knows when I’m ready to let go and he’ll be there when I finally do.