Refusing to Be Sellable
Today I'm saying YES to doing the most!!
If you’ve joined any of our community’s calls, you’ve heard me say more times than necessary that I’m in an identity crisis. Just the other day I was on the phone with my friend Kala, tearing up, saying, “I don’t know who I am! I don’t know what to create!”
I’m realizing after today’s call, though, that I’m not in an identity crisis — capitalism just sucks.
Let me explain.
I know exactly who I am. I’m a free spirit and a beautiful wild child. I’m a leader, writer, encourager and teacher. I’m sensitive as all get out, and I’m empathetic to the point of heartbreak sometimes. I like to travel — sometimes for intellectual, literary trips and other times just to dance to Olivia Dean on a boat and sip mojitos with my friends. I’m nuanced. Some days I want to be a mom more than anything, and other days I’m like, “Yeah, I can wait five years.” I love Jesus but don’t rock with fascist, self-proclaimed Christians. I like challenging games like chess, but I hate losing. I love life, people, and helping people love their life. I KNOW ME.
The “identity crisis” came about because I don’t know what to sell.
For so long I “sold” myself as one thing: a brand strategist.
I’ve completely walked away from that career to focus on writing my novel, but I still have this beautiful community that I want to cultivate!! So, I’m constantly asking myself?
“what part of me is worth branding?”
“What can I promise people?”
“Will posting this annoy people?”
I’ve been struggling to figure out what other niche is “sellable,” and I haven’t stopped to ask myself why I feel the need to be sold anyway.
Capitalism has made everything a business: communities, reading, writing, purpose, experiencing the world — anything can be sold! We’ve been forced into the idiocracy of it all to the point that I can guarantee you, eventually, people are going to start selling fresh air!
I came across this Substack note and it solidified these feelings for me and led me to write this piece:
So what does all of this have to do with “doing the most”?
I’ve been holding back so much of ME. I’ve shared before that I have an interest in writing more frequently here but got scared because it may annoy some people.
I’ve wanted to share more of my life as a creative / writer without feeling like every post has to teach something: books I’m reading, residencies I’m going on, and snippets of travel, etc… but I tuck these ideas away because they don’t “fit the original reason for the Daily Yes (entrepreneurship) and I feared our community won’t grow/sell. But it was never my goal to grow or sell connection in the first place?! I just wanted a space where we creatives could support and learn from each other, whether that meant 5 people or 50,000!
Anywho, I’m writing this post to mark the day that I finally say GOOD RIDDANCE to the capitalist rules — I want to look back some time from now and say “yay! you finally stepped fully into your authenticity and encouraged others to do so, too!”
I know, I know. I’ve said something similar to this before, but I’m human: I’m learning and growing more each day, and I’ve finally gotten to the bottom of why I was holding myself back.
So, I no longer want to make promises on what I will deliver here. I started this community to connect with others who desire or are building a creative, cozy, courageous, and Christ-centered life and I’m going to share all of mine! I’ll show up as often, host community calls, and publish my writing as often as I can and desire — without worrying if it’s doing too much, annoying, or sellable. Some days that might look like me teaching something, others might be a bible study, and some might be personal essays about something i thought was really cool!!
The only thing I will promise is that this will always be a loving, authentic, safe space for creatives!!
I know like 99% of our community is reading this and thinking, “Girl!!! We’ve BEEN telling you to do whatever you want! I’m locked in!!” LOL. So this is me finally saying I’m finally listening to you guys and THANK YOU for rocking with me as I’ve grown out loud!!
AND this is me challenging you to ask yourself:
What are you doing solely because it’s working, easily categorized, or sellable?
What are you not doing because you feel like it isn’t sellable?
As Lauren said on today’s call, create guardrails not straitjackets!
Let’s chat about it. 💬
Giiiiiirl I get it, I feel it and I’m living it. The stillness I’ve created was an effort to escape the capitalist system of having to sell, but you’re right. I’ve been hiding afraid to just be as I worry about branding something and coming back “better”. Thank you for your transparency and if you need to post 3 more times saying you’ll do it your way, I’m here for that too. You’re building integrity back with yourself so be gentle. We underestimate the cost of playing by the systems rules to make an impact. Muscle memory kicks in and you have to retrain your brain. You got this! We got this! I’m rooting for you!
Wait this is so good! When did we all become businesses to sell to one another?!