My loooove 🤎 This touched me in so many ways!!!! I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism 2 years ago and it’s kicked my butt every day since. Just Friday, I got the blood test to test for Hashmito’s so know… in that regard… I KNOW!
I went on a 9-month sabbatical last year and when I came back so much felt brand new… but the outcomes haven’t. And I’ve struggled so much trusting God through that. Learning to detach my relationship with Him from my own individual performance. And lately, woooooo I’ve wanted to throw in the towel.
But know… there’s at least one person (✋🏽) that needed this today. So badly.
I spent the past two weeks hiding and got up this morning and showered and did my skin care and dusted myself off. And when I sat down to do some breathwork, journaling, and time in the Word… here you were.
So please keep going BUT please please please continue to meet yourself where you are. It’s absolutely enough! 🤎
Really?! I'm so sorry you have this too! Were they able to rule out Hashimoto's? The one thing I'm grateful to IVF for is the constant blood tests!! I had no IDEA i had hypothyroidism. I assume I was just exhausted and depressed due to everything happening in life. Now, I'm trying to find the right lifestyle & dose of meds to keep stress low!! I pray you find what works for you soon! I can't believe I didn't know how much our thyroids affect us!!
I just want to hug you and cry together because I AM STILL FEELING THIS WAY. I've just started to detach obedience from outcomes, but honey, we're human, and it's so hard. I started to question if "one day" will actually even happen. But I'm constantly trying to remind myself that he hasn't let me down yet. This is just a longer trial than I'm used to.
Please let me know if any devotionals, prayers, or scriptures have helped you through this. Funny enough, my book (Rising from the Rut) was released on the day I REALLY wanted to give up, and I'm going to start reading it to see if who I was when I wrote it can speak to me now. Thank you Si!!
Love the statement, "Learning to detach my relationship with God from my own individual performance"!!!!! That's the boat I'm working my way out of as well!
This absolutely touched me in so many ways but more than that I was so excited to see you name in my inbox. You have crossed my mind several times over the last 214 days. So excited that you are finding the joy in all of the pain and hardship. That is what has been driving me. It is always an affirmation to stay rooted in using joy as fuel to do the incredible work we are meant to do in this world.
Eva!!! Oh my goodness, you have no idea how much it means to hear this from you!! 🤎 I’ve thought about you so many times over these past months and kept wondering how you were doing and what joy you’ve been leaning on lately.
Your words literally made me smile through tears — yes, trying to find joy even in the middle of the storm has been my lifeline. I love that you see it as fuel too… that’s exactly it!! That’s what keeps me showing up, even on the days I feel like I have nothing left to give.
Thank you for rooting for me and for your encouragement!! I’m so glad to be back in fellowhip with you, and I can’t wait to hear what joy has been carrying you lately!!
I've been doing really well. Still trucking along with Black on Black Ed and figuring out my place in the coaching space. I've been holding on to the joy of making it through all the ebbs and flows of life. Finding my way back to joy is what's bringing me joy.
I will be forever cheering you on, you've been such a support to me for so long and i am just grateful to be able to do the same.
"When we’ve already obeyed what God asked of us, the next task may not be to do more, but to just learn how to be, and to let our identity expand beyond what hasn’t happened." This is where I'm at with my career journey. I've done all I know to do without seeing the payout I thought and I feel the Lord saying "rest and trust Me." I've been meditating on Psalm 46:10 "Be still and know that I am God" and God has been showing me that stillness is a lot easier when you know. For years I assumed it was about knowing what's next but He's showing me that it's about knowing Him. Even as the story of my life is unfolding, I can have peace in not knowing what's next because I know the One holding the pen and I know His plans and thoughts and intentions are beyond anything I could even comprehend. As He's deepening my roots and understanding I feel my faith being fortified in a way I didn't know I needed.
Bri!!! Whew, I felt every single word of this!! 🙌🏽 That verse has been sitting heavy on my heart too:“Be still and know…” hits so differently when you realize it’s not about clarity of what’s next, but confidence in Who is in control. Like you said, the stillness gets easier when the knowing gets deeper.
I love how you put it — “I know the One holding the pen.” That line alone is a whole sermon. I’m right there with you in that quiet season of trusting without tangible proof. It’s uncomfortable, but it’s holy ground too. Thank you for sharing this. You have no idea how much this reminded me that stillness is surrender. 💛 P.S. i missed your wisdom!!!
So glad you checked in with a touch point! Number two is spot on. I think western Christianity too often adopts our secular, empire centric culture of prioritizing results which often times throws our relationships to the way side, familial, friends, and even God. Now that im aware of how heavily that’s been woven through my relationship with God I’m working on unraveling it with Him. Hang in there and keep saying hi, we all miss you!
Lauren!! Not me finally seeing this comment while we’re literally in coworking together 😂 — multitasking at its finest!!
But yes, number two has been gutting me lately too. You hit it on the head: so much of our faith formation got tangled up with this results-based mindset, like God’s love has a KPI attached to it 😩. I’ve been trying to unlearn that same hustle theology and let my relationship with Him feel more like communion than performance.
I love that you’re unraveling it with Him — that’s such a beautiful posture. Thank you for this reminder (and for keeping me accountable to “keep saying hi,” even in real time 😅).
Isis!!! It’s so good to hear from you. I was the thinking of you like crazy and even thought I texted what was your number. I am interceding immensely on your behalf and still trusting that God is STILL a God of miracles ( even when it’s hard for you to see ) . I love you , wishing you nothing but goodness and blessings. 🤍🤍🤍
When did you text?! Was is the 678 #?! I don’t see your message but I was thinking about you and your little family last month! And praying for you guys!! How is everything?! Thank you for interceding! I was just telling my mom I need her to pray for me cause I’m having a hard time do it without my worry creeping into prayer time! I appreciate that more than you know!!! I miss you!!
This message was right on time Isis. I've been feeling exactly how you described, mainly from continuous compounding grief with loss after loss and just trying to figure out my path and place in it all. Feeling lost, wondering if I had done something wrong or if I'm suffering from the decision of those before me. What I do know is I too have also realized that I can't just lay down and let the devil win. I've allowed life to beat me up and turn me into a shell of a person I hardly recognize. I've told myself I'm tired of shrinking, playing small, and allowing the devil to play with me and crumple under his blows. I'm better than that, than this! I'm going to show up as my highest self in whatever ways I can even if they're small beginnings. As you said, I also don't know how my story will unfold or if it will look the way I imagined it to, but I will continue to say YES each day and pray for GOD's strength because the truth is most days it's the only reason I can continue. Thank you for your obedience, even in the midst of your storm. Know that GOD is with you just as he was with the Hebrew boys in the fire. I think we all forget that sometimes. May GOD continue to show you his goodness. Again, thank you for your heart! You are appreciated! Miss you!!
Ebony!!! I missed you!! & Whew, this took me OUT. 😭 You have no idea how much I felt every single word of this, especially that line, "I’ve allowed life to beat me up and turn me into a shell of a person I hardly recognize." Girl, SAME. That was me for months. And the crazy part is, it happens so slowly that you don’t even notice you’re shrinking until one day you look up and can’t see yourself anymore.
But what you said, "I’m better than that!" yes, ma’am!!! That’s the fire right there. Even small steps of showing up are huge, and I love that you’re committing to say YES each day and lean on God’s strength. That is exactly what keeps me going too. Thank you for sharing this and for your heart. Again, I miss you too and am cheering you on with everything I’ve got!
Isis!!! You have literally been on my mind like crazy these last two weeks! I’m happy to see you posting and figuring it out with God! I’ll continue to pray for you and God’s plan for your life’s journey! I love you and welcome back! 💕💕
I love you too!!!! I was looking at our photos from LA just the other day, too!! Haha I miss you a ton and can’t wait to feel up to traveling again so I can see you! I feel like there’s SO MUCH to catch up on in your life!!! How are you?! What’s new?! Text me?! lol thank you for the prayers!!😭🙏🏾
Omg…I’m going to text you again! I thought i had the wrong number! 😭 there’s so much that’s happened! I’m finally an associate marriage & family therapist, i still live in Cali but I’ve been moving around a bit ahaha! 🩷 I’ll text you again today! 🤗🩷
You have absolutely no idea how i needed this. I just had a conversation with my husband after church about how bitter I’ve been feeling and how I’ve been having conversations with God about how I am hopeless. I’ve been praying to God to help me be successful in a lot of ways for almost 10 years and i still feel like i haven’t gotten there. The years have been filled with a lot of pain and strife. Some of it caused by me, some of it in my marriage. We prayed something similar to what you said in this post so I am believing this is God’s way of reminding me He loves me and hasn’t abandoned me. Thank you ❤️
Oh friend, I know that feeling so well. That ache of praying and hoping for years and wondering if God even hears you anymore. I’ve been in that same space, wrestling with bitterness and feeling like I’ve done everything “right” but still can’t see the breakthrough. It’s such a heavy place to live from, but I love that even in your honesty, you’re still praying. That’s proof the light hasn’t gone out.
It sounds like God used that conversation with your husband and this post as a little whisper to remind you He’s still right there, even in the waiting. Keep holding on to that. You’re seen, you’re loved, and this chapter isn’t the end of your story. ❤️ P.S. i missed you!!
Hey I was just thinking about you a few weeks ago, wondering why I haven't heard anything at all! So glad to have you back and so glad that you're still fighting. Yiu may not remember me but I remember so much about how your work impacted me and the kindness to share my little Substack. Will be praying for you sis. 🙏🏾
I’m just seeing this, and wow, thank you so much. I was actually thinking about you and your words recently too! It’s wild how God brings people back to mind right when you need the reminder that what you shared mattered. I definitely remember you and your work. Thank you for the prayers and for checking in, sis. That really means a lot. 🙏🏾
I've never spoken to you, but you always speak to my heart when you write. I'm so sorry that you've been going through such a hard time, and that you're still going through it, but I'm also so happy to see a post from you. Thank you for being open and sharing hard things.
I've been going through a season of heartache and hopelessness, and I'm so glad somebody understands that feeling of complete belief but simultaneous lack of trust and understanding. I know God is real, so if things are going poorly, then does He just hate me? It sounds childish to my ears, putting that into words, but those thoughts cross my mind sometimes. I feel like every time I'm being obedient and doing everything "right" to the best of my ability with the right heart posture, everything still goes wrong, and I've been really resentful of it.
But the thing about isolation and falling away is that everything is still going wrong, I'm just not doing it with God, and that feels even worse. I've been trying to take steps this last week to come back into obedience and keep going, so this post is the most timely thing ever, and I really needed it. I'm learning how to fight again too. Thank you. God is truly working through you.
Emma, I’m so glad you spoke up now, and I’m sorry I’m just responding. Reading your words stopped me in my tracks because I’ve been in that exact space, loving God, believing He’s real, and still wondering if He’s mad at me or just tired of me. It’s such a lonely, confusing place to be.
What you said about realizing things were still falling apart even when you tried doing it without Him hit me hard. I’ve felt that too, the moment when you realize walking away doesn’t ease the pain, it just makes it quieter but heavier. Coming back takes so much courage, especially when you’re still raw.
I’m really proud of you for choosing to keep showing up and fight again. That’s no small thing. Is there any specific way I can pray for you right now?
I went through this too and everything you said is 🤌🏽🤌🏽🤌🏽 love this piece and if it’s not too bold to say, this has been my work for the last 8 years- coaching people from outcome to alignment through infertility 🔥and have a podcast and all manner of support if anyone is out there going through this and needs it xx
Alice, I’m so glad you commented, and I’m sorry I’m just seeing this. Thank you for sharing what you do, that’s such beautiful and needed work. I love that phrase, “coaching people from outcome to alignment,” it’s exactly the shift God has been walking me through. Eight years of serving people in that space is no small thing. I’ll definitely check out your podcast, and I’ll keep you in mind because I’m starting to feel the push that I need more help and community in this space. Thank you for showing up for us. ❤️
Isis !!!! So good to hear from you ! We’ve missed you . Thank you for being vulnerable and transparent with it . It was a beautiful post , I’m also in a season of unanswered prayers and wondering where God is or what I’ve done wrong , this piece was so relatable and inspiring. Your strength is amazing and admirable. Praying for your health and strength until the Lords will be done. 🙏🏽🩷
Ashera!!! I’m so glad you’re here, and I’ve missed you, truly! Thank you for such kind and thoughtful words. It helps more than you know to hear from someone walking through the same season of unanswered prayers. I’ve been right there too, wondering if I did something wrong or if God just went quiet on me.
I’m praying the same for you, that His strength meets you right where you are and that peace shows up even before the answers do. Thank you for praying for me too. It means so much. 🩷
It's lovely to hear from you ♥️ Just wanted to send you lots of love - I'm sorry to hear how challenging this season has been for you. Thank you for sharing something so personal and by doing so, for encouraging us as we navigate our lives too 🫂♥️
Cee, I’m just seeing this, and thank you so much. Your words feel like a warm hug. This season has stretched me in ways I didn’t expect, but hearing that my honesty encourages others makes it all feel a little more purposeful. Sending love right back to you as you walk through your own journey. ♥️
Wow! First Isis your writing exceeds anything I ever read. I always look forward to your post, so I kept wondering where you’ve been. I am sincerely praying for your health, healing, and prayers to be answered. I resonated sooo soo deeply with alignment over outcome. I had to come to acceptance with praying the same prayers and nothing changing, or things gradually getting “worse” somehow I’ve grown past my disappointment or anger towards God for not changing my situation but loving him in the midst of it. I too experienced spiritual disorientation for the past year. The chess analogy was so refreshing and genius. I love when God speaks to use through the simplest things such as a game!
Wow, what a compliment and confirmation!! Thank you!! 🥹 Your words honestly stopped me for a second. It means so much that the writing still reaches you and that the message about alignment over outcome resonated that deeply. I’ve been walking through that same process of praying the same prayers and learning to love God in the “nothing’s changing” seasons. It’s so humbling but also so refining.
And yes! Isn’t it wild how He’ll use something so ordinary to remind us He’s still speaking?!! I’m really touched (and grateful for) what you shared and praying the same peace and clarity keep meeting you where you are! Thank YOU!
My loooove 🤎 This touched me in so many ways!!!! I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism 2 years ago and it’s kicked my butt every day since. Just Friday, I got the blood test to test for Hashmito’s so know… in that regard… I KNOW!
I went on a 9-month sabbatical last year and when I came back so much felt brand new… but the outcomes haven’t. And I’ve struggled so much trusting God through that. Learning to detach my relationship with Him from my own individual performance. And lately, woooooo I’ve wanted to throw in the towel.
But know… there’s at least one person (✋🏽) that needed this today. So badly.
I spent the past two weeks hiding and got up this morning and showered and did my skin care and dusted myself off. And when I sat down to do some breathwork, journaling, and time in the Word… here you were.
So please keep going BUT please please please continue to meet yourself where you are. It’s absolutely enough! 🤎
Really?! I'm so sorry you have this too! Were they able to rule out Hashimoto's? The one thing I'm grateful to IVF for is the constant blood tests!! I had no IDEA i had hypothyroidism. I assume I was just exhausted and depressed due to everything happening in life. Now, I'm trying to find the right lifestyle & dose of meds to keep stress low!! I pray you find what works for you soon! I can't believe I didn't know how much our thyroids affect us!!
I just want to hug you and cry together because I AM STILL FEELING THIS WAY. I've just started to detach obedience from outcomes, but honey, we're human, and it's so hard. I started to question if "one day" will actually even happen. But I'm constantly trying to remind myself that he hasn't let me down yet. This is just a longer trial than I'm used to.
Please let me know if any devotionals, prayers, or scriptures have helped you through this. Funny enough, my book (Rising from the Rut) was released on the day I REALLY wanted to give up, and I'm going to start reading it to see if who I was when I wrote it can speak to me now. Thank you Si!!
Love the statement, "Learning to detach my relationship with God from my own individual performance"!!!!! That's the boat I'm working my way out of as well!
This absolutely touched me in so many ways but more than that I was so excited to see you name in my inbox. You have crossed my mind several times over the last 214 days. So excited that you are finding the joy in all of the pain and hardship. That is what has been driving me. It is always an affirmation to stay rooted in using joy as fuel to do the incredible work we are meant to do in this world.
So glad to see you back!
Eva!!! Oh my goodness, you have no idea how much it means to hear this from you!! 🤎 I’ve thought about you so many times over these past months and kept wondering how you were doing and what joy you’ve been leaning on lately.
Your words literally made me smile through tears — yes, trying to find joy even in the middle of the storm has been my lifeline. I love that you see it as fuel too… that’s exactly it!! That’s what keeps me showing up, even on the days I feel like I have nothing left to give.
Thank you for rooting for me and for your encouragement!! I’m so glad to be back in fellowhip with you, and I can’t wait to hear what joy has been carrying you lately!!
I've been doing really well. Still trucking along with Black on Black Ed and figuring out my place in the coaching space. I've been holding on to the joy of making it through all the ebbs and flows of life. Finding my way back to joy is what's bringing me joy.
I will be forever cheering you on, you've been such a support to me for so long and i am just grateful to be able to do the same.
"When we’ve already obeyed what God asked of us, the next task may not be to do more, but to just learn how to be, and to let our identity expand beyond what hasn’t happened." This is where I'm at with my career journey. I've done all I know to do without seeing the payout I thought and I feel the Lord saying "rest and trust Me." I've been meditating on Psalm 46:10 "Be still and know that I am God" and God has been showing me that stillness is a lot easier when you know. For years I assumed it was about knowing what's next but He's showing me that it's about knowing Him. Even as the story of my life is unfolding, I can have peace in not knowing what's next because I know the One holding the pen and I know His plans and thoughts and intentions are beyond anything I could even comprehend. As He's deepening my roots and understanding I feel my faith being fortified in a way I didn't know I needed.
Bri!!! Whew, I felt every single word of this!! 🙌🏽 That verse has been sitting heavy on my heart too:“Be still and know…” hits so differently when you realize it’s not about clarity of what’s next, but confidence in Who is in control. Like you said, the stillness gets easier when the knowing gets deeper.
I love how you put it — “I know the One holding the pen.” That line alone is a whole sermon. I’m right there with you in that quiet season of trusting without tangible proof. It’s uncomfortable, but it’s holy ground too. Thank you for sharing this. You have no idea how much this reminded me that stillness is surrender. 💛 P.S. i missed your wisdom!!!
God bless you sis.
So glad you checked in with a touch point! Number two is spot on. I think western Christianity too often adopts our secular, empire centric culture of prioritizing results which often times throws our relationships to the way side, familial, friends, and even God. Now that im aware of how heavily that’s been woven through my relationship with God I’m working on unraveling it with Him. Hang in there and keep saying hi, we all miss you!
Lauren!! Not me finally seeing this comment while we’re literally in coworking together 😂 — multitasking at its finest!!
But yes, number two has been gutting me lately too. You hit it on the head: so much of our faith formation got tangled up with this results-based mindset, like God’s love has a KPI attached to it 😩. I’ve been trying to unlearn that same hustle theology and let my relationship with Him feel more like communion than performance.
I love that you’re unraveling it with Him — that’s such a beautiful posture. Thank you for this reminder (and for keeping me accountable to “keep saying hi,” even in real time 😅).
Isis!!! It’s so good to hear from you. I was the thinking of you like crazy and even thought I texted what was your number. I am interceding immensely on your behalf and still trusting that God is STILL a God of miracles ( even when it’s hard for you to see ) . I love you , wishing you nothing but goodness and blessings. 🤍🤍🤍
When did you text?! Was is the 678 #?! I don’t see your message but I was thinking about you and your little family last month! And praying for you guys!! How is everything?! Thank you for interceding! I was just telling my mom I need her to pray for me cause I’m having a hard time do it without my worry creeping into prayer time! I appreciate that more than you know!!! I miss you!!
This message was right on time Isis. I've been feeling exactly how you described, mainly from continuous compounding grief with loss after loss and just trying to figure out my path and place in it all. Feeling lost, wondering if I had done something wrong or if I'm suffering from the decision of those before me. What I do know is I too have also realized that I can't just lay down and let the devil win. I've allowed life to beat me up and turn me into a shell of a person I hardly recognize. I've told myself I'm tired of shrinking, playing small, and allowing the devil to play with me and crumple under his blows. I'm better than that, than this! I'm going to show up as my highest self in whatever ways I can even if they're small beginnings. As you said, I also don't know how my story will unfold or if it will look the way I imagined it to, but I will continue to say YES each day and pray for GOD's strength because the truth is most days it's the only reason I can continue. Thank you for your obedience, even in the midst of your storm. Know that GOD is with you just as he was with the Hebrew boys in the fire. I think we all forget that sometimes. May GOD continue to show you his goodness. Again, thank you for your heart! You are appreciated! Miss you!!
Ebony!!! I missed you!! & Whew, this took me OUT. 😭 You have no idea how much I felt every single word of this, especially that line, "I’ve allowed life to beat me up and turn me into a shell of a person I hardly recognize." Girl, SAME. That was me for months. And the crazy part is, it happens so slowly that you don’t even notice you’re shrinking until one day you look up and can’t see yourself anymore.
But what you said, "I’m better than that!" yes, ma’am!!! That’s the fire right there. Even small steps of showing up are huge, and I love that you’re committing to say YES each day and lean on God’s strength. That is exactly what keeps me going too. Thank you for sharing this and for your heart. Again, I miss you too and am cheering you on with everything I’ve got!
Isis!!! You have literally been on my mind like crazy these last two weeks! I’m happy to see you posting and figuring it out with God! I’ll continue to pray for you and God’s plan for your life’s journey! I love you and welcome back! 💕💕
I love you too!!!! I was looking at our photos from LA just the other day, too!! Haha I miss you a ton and can’t wait to feel up to traveling again so I can see you! I feel like there’s SO MUCH to catch up on in your life!!! How are you?! What’s new?! Text me?! lol thank you for the prayers!!😭🙏🏾
Omg…I’m going to text you again! I thought i had the wrong number! 😭 there’s so much that’s happened! I’m finally an associate marriage & family therapist, i still live in Cali but I’ve been moving around a bit ahaha! 🩷 I’ll text you again today! 🤗🩷
You have absolutely no idea how i needed this. I just had a conversation with my husband after church about how bitter I’ve been feeling and how I’ve been having conversations with God about how I am hopeless. I’ve been praying to God to help me be successful in a lot of ways for almost 10 years and i still feel like i haven’t gotten there. The years have been filled with a lot of pain and strife. Some of it caused by me, some of it in my marriage. We prayed something similar to what you said in this post so I am believing this is God’s way of reminding me He loves me and hasn’t abandoned me. Thank you ❤️
Oh friend, I know that feeling so well. That ache of praying and hoping for years and wondering if God even hears you anymore. I’ve been in that same space, wrestling with bitterness and feeling like I’ve done everything “right” but still can’t see the breakthrough. It’s such a heavy place to live from, but I love that even in your honesty, you’re still praying. That’s proof the light hasn’t gone out.
It sounds like God used that conversation with your husband and this post as a little whisper to remind you He’s still right there, even in the waiting. Keep holding on to that. You’re seen, you’re loved, and this chapter isn’t the end of your story. ❤️ P.S. i missed you!!
😭 Welcome Back ❤️
Not me JUST seeing this!! Thank you so much ❤️ It means the world to feel welcomed back!!
Thank you for sharing your story. I am praying for you. 🙏🏾
Thank YOU, I’m just seeing this! Your prayers mean so much to me right now. Truly. 🙏🏾
Hey I was just thinking about you a few weeks ago, wondering why I haven't heard anything at all! So glad to have you back and so glad that you're still fighting. Yiu may not remember me but I remember so much about how your work impacted me and the kindness to share my little Substack. Will be praying for you sis. 🙏🏾
I’m just seeing this, and wow, thank you so much. I was actually thinking about you and your words recently too! It’s wild how God brings people back to mind right when you need the reminder that what you shared mattered. I definitely remember you and your work. Thank you for the prayers and for checking in, sis. That really means a lot. 🙏🏾
I've never spoken to you, but you always speak to my heart when you write. I'm so sorry that you've been going through such a hard time, and that you're still going through it, but I'm also so happy to see a post from you. Thank you for being open and sharing hard things.
I've been going through a season of heartache and hopelessness, and I'm so glad somebody understands that feeling of complete belief but simultaneous lack of trust and understanding. I know God is real, so if things are going poorly, then does He just hate me? It sounds childish to my ears, putting that into words, but those thoughts cross my mind sometimes. I feel like every time I'm being obedient and doing everything "right" to the best of my ability with the right heart posture, everything still goes wrong, and I've been really resentful of it.
But the thing about isolation and falling away is that everything is still going wrong, I'm just not doing it with God, and that feels even worse. I've been trying to take steps this last week to come back into obedience and keep going, so this post is the most timely thing ever, and I really needed it. I'm learning how to fight again too. Thank you. God is truly working through you.
Emma, I’m so glad you spoke up now, and I’m sorry I’m just responding. Reading your words stopped me in my tracks because I’ve been in that exact space, loving God, believing He’s real, and still wondering if He’s mad at me or just tired of me. It’s such a lonely, confusing place to be.
What you said about realizing things were still falling apart even when you tried doing it without Him hit me hard. I’ve felt that too, the moment when you realize walking away doesn’t ease the pain, it just makes it quieter but heavier. Coming back takes so much courage, especially when you’re still raw.
I’m really proud of you for choosing to keep showing up and fight again. That’s no small thing. Is there any specific way I can pray for you right now?
I went through this too and everything you said is 🤌🏽🤌🏽🤌🏽 love this piece and if it’s not too bold to say, this has been my work for the last 8 years- coaching people from outcome to alignment through infertility 🔥and have a podcast and all manner of support if anyone is out there going through this and needs it xx
Alice, I’m so glad you commented, and I’m sorry I’m just seeing this. Thank you for sharing what you do, that’s such beautiful and needed work. I love that phrase, “coaching people from outcome to alignment,” it’s exactly the shift God has been walking me through. Eight years of serving people in that space is no small thing. I’ll definitely check out your podcast, and I’ll keep you in mind because I’m starting to feel the push that I need more help and community in this space. Thank you for showing up for us. ❤️
Isis !!!! So good to hear from you ! We’ve missed you . Thank you for being vulnerable and transparent with it . It was a beautiful post , I’m also in a season of unanswered prayers and wondering where God is or what I’ve done wrong , this piece was so relatable and inspiring. Your strength is amazing and admirable. Praying for your health and strength until the Lords will be done. 🙏🏽🩷
Ashera!!! I’m so glad you’re here, and I’ve missed you, truly! Thank you for such kind and thoughtful words. It helps more than you know to hear from someone walking through the same season of unanswered prayers. I’ve been right there too, wondering if I did something wrong or if God just went quiet on me.
I’m praying the same for you, that His strength meets you right where you are and that peace shows up even before the answers do. Thank you for praying for me too. It means so much. 🩷
It's lovely to hear from you ♥️ Just wanted to send you lots of love - I'm sorry to hear how challenging this season has been for you. Thank you for sharing something so personal and by doing so, for encouraging us as we navigate our lives too 🫂♥️
Cee, I’m just seeing this, and thank you so much. Your words feel like a warm hug. This season has stretched me in ways I didn’t expect, but hearing that my honesty encourages others makes it all feel a little more purposeful. Sending love right back to you as you walk through your own journey. ♥️
It truly does encourage us! And thank you so much for the love and good wishes 🤗❤️
Wow! First Isis your writing exceeds anything I ever read. I always look forward to your post, so I kept wondering where you’ve been. I am sincerely praying for your health, healing, and prayers to be answered. I resonated sooo soo deeply with alignment over outcome. I had to come to acceptance with praying the same prayers and nothing changing, or things gradually getting “worse” somehow I’ve grown past my disappointment or anger towards God for not changing my situation but loving him in the midst of it. I too experienced spiritual disorientation for the past year. The chess analogy was so refreshing and genius. I love when God speaks to use through the simplest things such as a game!
Wow, what a compliment and confirmation!! Thank you!! 🥹 Your words honestly stopped me for a second. It means so much that the writing still reaches you and that the message about alignment over outcome resonated that deeply. I’ve been walking through that same process of praying the same prayers and learning to love God in the “nothing’s changing” seasons. It’s so humbling but also so refining.
And yes! Isn’t it wild how He’ll use something so ordinary to remind us He’s still speaking?!! I’m really touched (and grateful for) what you shared and praying the same peace and clarity keep meeting you where you are! Thank YOU!