Thanks for being so open about this, Isis. I'd never been a fan of social media, but people kept saying I had to be on Instagram if I wanted to market my business. I took the leap and while I'm proud of the content I created, I hated how drained I felt after creating it. I never did learn all the dos and don'ts; I learned how to copy other "gurus" because I thought they knew more than me. I don't know how many times I revamped products and programs based on what they said, none of which actually worked for me. I really wanted to leave, but didn't know what else to do. Then one day one of my favorite (non-hustle culture) creative announced her indefinite hiatus from the platform. That gave me the courage to do the same. It's been almost a year and I don't regret the decision at all. I've been focused on teaching writing classes locally and will be partnering with some of my favorite online communities to teach their audiences!
I too was caught up in the 6-figure/millionaire push, but here's something I realized recently. The Bible says a wise man leaves his child an inheritance. We always assume that means money, but I believe the most important inheritance you can leave your child is an introduction to Christ and the life He lived.
Gwendolyn, your comment brought tears to my eyes. The way you described that feeling of constantly revamping yourself to match what 'gurus' were saying - I felt that in my bones. It's amazing how seeing just one person step away can give us permission to trust our own instincts, isn't it?
I'm so inspired hearing about your local writing classes and partnerships! There's something deeply beautiful about building real connections in your own community rather than chasing numbers on a screen.
And your perspective on inheritance really struck me. You're right - we've narrowed down such a profound concept to just dollar signs, when the richest inheritances often can't be measured in bank accounts at all. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and journey with us. You're creating ripples of permission for others to choose differently too. 🩵
P.s. Do you mind sharing what city you’re in? I would love to attend any of your workshops! My homebase is Dallas, but I travel often!
One person can make a huge difference! I liken it to being afraid to ask a question in class until someone else raises their hand. I don't know why we second guess ourselves so much, but I'm slowly learning to listen to the Holy Spirit.
I'm in West Orange, NJ, still waiting for the snow, lol!
I actually just wrote a reflection on who I am when I’m not distracted.
I’m Brieanna Lightfoot Smith.
The one who loves to write and read.
Who can sit in silence thinking through different scenarios and have fun exploring how it would feel should those dreams become realities.
The one who works hard, enjoys her work and is still okay trading rigorous routine for rest.
Who likes TV shows not for the plot as much as the observation and intricacies of character development.
The one who is great at seeing how Biblical truths play out in the daily interactions I have with my kids.
I feared that in spending less time online and more time with myself I’d find that I didn’t actually feel like I was enough - but my experience has been the opposite.
This is STUNNING! And wow — what beautiful self-discovery! That last line hit me right in the heart... it’s amazing how when we finally get quiet enough to hear ourselves, we realize GOD DID HIS THING. We’re more than enough because HE crafted us!!You are MORE than enough, friend. I know you know it! But I’ll say it 1,000 times if I must! Keep exploring those depths! 🫂
My relationship with social media is this: I choose to stay true to my calling, prioritizing purpose over performance. I’ve let go of the pressure to conform, impress, or constantly chase & flirt with the algorithm to stay relevant. Now, I’m in charge of how I show up.
I remember someone (awesome and intelligent) once saying we shouldn’t post about just one thing because it makes your page feel “stuffy.” When I looked at my page, it was mostly about God, and I started to question myself: “Am I stuffy?” That’s what I dislike about social media—so many gurus competing for your attention and making you second-guess your authenticity.
Now, I’ve realized my content isn’t stuffy at all—it’s a true reflection of who I am and the value I bring to my audience. Purpose over performance all day!
GOODNESS, you just gave me chills! "Purpose over performance" — what a powerful way to frame this shift! 👏🏾
And that part about questioning if you were "stuffy" for staying true to your passion... I felt that! Isn't it wild how others can make us doubt the very things that make us uniquely US?! The path that God put us on?!
Keep shining that light Sheilla, your authenticity is anything BUT stuffy!!
I definitely resonate with this. I deleted my Instagram after I graduated from college even though I had thousands of followers because it felt like a “pretty cage”. It was crazy to most people but I felt so free. Years later, I post on social media (maybe) once a year because I have found a new appreciation for privacy and sharing my life… in real life.
Thank you for resonating with this Jalisia!! Isn't that freedom after ‘leaving’ just INCREDIBLE?! 🕊️ May I ask how you decide when something is “worth” posting now? I’ve been wondering that lately… If I’ll ever go back to social media or how will I know if something is worth posting? I’m sure I’ll learn along the journey! But I’d love to hear your experience!
I once heard a preacher describe Insta and FB as shrines we build of ourselves. I'd long since abandoned both platforms but hearing that shook me. Do I have personal shrines elsewhere?
Woah. what a powerfullll perspective that just stopped me in my tracks, too!! It really makes you think about all the ways we might be curating versions of ourselves, even beyond social media. Your question about having shrines elsewhere is exactly the kind of deep reflection I'm sitting with lately too. Thank you for adding this layer to the conversation — it's going to stay with me. 🫂
I could almost cry at what you're describing. I'm starting my fourth business, and know what I "ought" to do for sustainable growth. Facebook, Instagram, yada yada yada. The last thing I posted I was just sick to my stomach. It felt inauthentic. I described social media as a shallow pool to a couple of friends I meet with regularly. I'm absolutely sick to death of it all. I encouraged them to head to Substack, where people actually *talk* to each other, instead of just clicking a like button. I believe the pendulum is swinging back the other way. People want depth and substance. At least I do. BTW, curiosity was my word for this year as well. Thankful for your thoughts! Keep 'em coming girlfriend. ;)
Goodness! That sick-to-your-stomach feeling is REAL! I love how you called it a shallow pool — that's exactly what it feels like, where we're all just splashing around trying to get attention instead of diving deep into what matters!!
P.S. how cool that curiosity was your word too!! It really does change everything once you start questioning all the "shoulds" we've been fed, doesn't it?! 🤯
Keep swimming in the deep end friend, there's so much more life there!
Such a colorful, relatable read. This year I’ve also felt the pull away from social media. I didn’t feel the need to take pictures to post. I was content really living a loving life, and wasn’t so pressed on convincing others that life was great for me. I can share something personal today, and then go 10 days and not share anything. I surprisingly don’t crave social media like I did. The need to update, stay in the know, etc. no longer my jam. I love connecting with God and actually being present with my family, and in my business.
Shaneel! Yesss to all of this! Breaking free from feeling like every moment needs to be documented is LIFE CHANGING isn't it?!
I love how you put it — "convincing others that life was great." There's something so beautiful about just living life instead of proving it. And what a gift to find more presence with God, family, and business in those unshared moments. 🫂
I enjoyed reading your post. I often have to remind myself that (almost) no one is posting the mess, the chaos, the real-life moments. They are only posting who they think others want them to be or what will drive likes and shares. I'm posting less frequently, often only from a milestone event or trip to keep family and friends abreast of what I've been up to. I'm enjoying Substack more, where I can be my true self, write from my heart, and feel at peace.
Thank you Michele 🩵 There's something so freeing about stepping away from the 'highlight reel' mindset, isn't it? I love that you've found your space on Substack where you can write without wondering if it's 'aesthetic' enough or if it'll get enough engagement. It's funny how we got so caught up in turning even our messiest, most human moments into something 'postable.' Wishing you continued peace in sharing your authentic story, milestone by milestone, word by word.
Thank you Shawna! It's comforting to know these thoughts resonate with others too. I’m learning that the most universal experiences are the ones we think we're going through alone! 🫂
Wheeew this is the ONE! Thank you for sharing and for your vulnerability. Your vulnerability is freeing people up to be more vulnerable. I am unlearning holding onto previous seasons when God is trying to do a new thing.
I’m in the thick of postpartum and it has me reevaluating my entire life! What matters, what I’m prioritizing…EVERYTHING. And while I am so thrilled to have my sweet daughter in the world, I’ve found myself truly grieving the previous season before she was here.
I’m different, my marriage is different, my schedule is different…everything feels…different. So I’ve been bringing this to the Lord and the other day He lead me to 1 Samuel 16. This chapter takes place after the Lord rejected Saul as king and chose David instead. In the first verse God is talking to Samuel and He said:
“The Lord said to Samuel, “How long are you going to mourn for Saul, since I have rejected him as king over Israel? Fill your horn with oil and go…”.
After reading this verse I realized I was mourning Saul (my previous season) and the Lord is calling me to fill my horn with oil and GO. It’s time to move forward because He’s doing a new thing and I know He doesn’t want me to miss what He’s currently doing because I’m looking too much at the past.
I know this was long, but I’m in the thick of this lesson and your reflections resonated with me so much. I’m grateful for the clarity that we have because we are in Christ. It’s such a gift and it really helps us to look at the world through a different lens. We need more conversations like this! 💗
I'm in the process of getting out of the box. For a long time I thought I could only talk about travel tips and travel related stuff because other wise "people wouldn't know what I sell"
As I'm stepping out of the box I'm noticing that my brand lacks depth and human connections. I've started to talk more about mental health and wellness. About managing the stress and overwhelm so that when you do go on vacation, you're not dreading returning to reality and you're not anxious the whole break because you know that it will be over in a few days.
I'm not sure if anyone cares but as part of the December challenge to just create for me, that's what I'm doing with the hope that someone can benefit from my experience and learn along side me as I figure out how to manage stress, recover from burn out and learn to enjoy life instead of always working hard to get to some mile marker of success.
This really resonated with me as I start my Substack journey. I decided not to share my newsletter on social media (yet), to allow myself to write and create without the need and itch for external validation from the people I know. I feel this ‘gaze’ from the people already in my life can sometimes keep me afraid of the expressing my authentic self creatively and truthfully. I want to cultivate my voice with self belief, and let it resonate with those on here that resonate with my work and those who can engage it with sustained attention. And in that I’ve noticed I’m spending less time on socials, and more time on here, trying to build community around Black feminist thought, and the theory and poetry and language that shapes my life. Thank you for this invitation to reflect on this. 🤎
Reading this article a year after it's publication and it still resonates. Social media is ONE way to build your business. But even in 2026, it’s not the ONLY way. Certainly, in many cases, not the most soul-aligned or authentic way.
If you’d like, you can build a business entirely through personal offline connections, Substack, or by attending conferences.
The only things I think you really NEED are an email list and a bias for action that’s rooted in service.
Thanks for being so open about this, Isis. I'd never been a fan of social media, but people kept saying I had to be on Instagram if I wanted to market my business. I took the leap and while I'm proud of the content I created, I hated how drained I felt after creating it. I never did learn all the dos and don'ts; I learned how to copy other "gurus" because I thought they knew more than me. I don't know how many times I revamped products and programs based on what they said, none of which actually worked for me. I really wanted to leave, but didn't know what else to do. Then one day one of my favorite (non-hustle culture) creative announced her indefinite hiatus from the platform. That gave me the courage to do the same. It's been almost a year and I don't regret the decision at all. I've been focused on teaching writing classes locally and will be partnering with some of my favorite online communities to teach their audiences!
I too was caught up in the 6-figure/millionaire push, but here's something I realized recently. The Bible says a wise man leaves his child an inheritance. We always assume that means money, but I believe the most important inheritance you can leave your child is an introduction to Christ and the life He lived.
Gwendolyn, your comment brought tears to my eyes. The way you described that feeling of constantly revamping yourself to match what 'gurus' were saying - I felt that in my bones. It's amazing how seeing just one person step away can give us permission to trust our own instincts, isn't it?
I'm so inspired hearing about your local writing classes and partnerships! There's something deeply beautiful about building real connections in your own community rather than chasing numbers on a screen.
And your perspective on inheritance really struck me. You're right - we've narrowed down such a profound concept to just dollar signs, when the richest inheritances often can't be measured in bank accounts at all. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and journey with us. You're creating ripples of permission for others to choose differently too. 🩵
P.s. Do you mind sharing what city you’re in? I would love to attend any of your workshops! My homebase is Dallas, but I travel often!
One person can make a huge difference! I liken it to being afraid to ask a question in class until someone else raises their hand. I don't know why we second guess ourselves so much, but I'm slowly learning to listen to the Holy Spirit.
I'm in West Orange, NJ, still waiting for the snow, lol!
I actually just wrote a reflection on who I am when I’m not distracted.
I’m Brieanna Lightfoot Smith.
The one who loves to write and read.
Who can sit in silence thinking through different scenarios and have fun exploring how it would feel should those dreams become realities.
The one who works hard, enjoys her work and is still okay trading rigorous routine for rest.
Who likes TV shows not for the plot as much as the observation and intricacies of character development.
The one who is great at seeing how Biblical truths play out in the daily interactions I have with my kids.
I feared that in spending less time online and more time with myself I’d find that I didn’t actually feel like I was enough - but my experience has been the opposite.
This is STUNNING! And wow — what beautiful self-discovery! That last line hit me right in the heart... it’s amazing how when we finally get quiet enough to hear ourselves, we realize GOD DID HIS THING. We’re more than enough because HE crafted us!!You are MORE than enough, friend. I know you know it! But I’ll say it 1,000 times if I must! Keep exploring those depths! 🫂
Thank you Isis! I will definitely keep exploring.
My relationship with social media is this: I choose to stay true to my calling, prioritizing purpose over performance. I’ve let go of the pressure to conform, impress, or constantly chase & flirt with the algorithm to stay relevant. Now, I’m in charge of how I show up.
I remember someone (awesome and intelligent) once saying we shouldn’t post about just one thing because it makes your page feel “stuffy.” When I looked at my page, it was mostly about God, and I started to question myself: “Am I stuffy?” That’s what I dislike about social media—so many gurus competing for your attention and making you second-guess your authenticity.
Now, I’ve realized my content isn’t stuffy at all—it’s a true reflection of who I am and the value I bring to my audience. Purpose over performance all day!
GOODNESS, you just gave me chills! "Purpose over performance" — what a powerful way to frame this shift! 👏🏾
And that part about questioning if you were "stuffy" for staying true to your passion... I felt that! Isn't it wild how others can make us doubt the very things that make us uniquely US?! The path that God put us on?!
Keep shining that light Sheilla, your authenticity is anything BUT stuffy!!
I definitely resonate with this. I deleted my Instagram after I graduated from college even though I had thousands of followers because it felt like a “pretty cage”. It was crazy to most people but I felt so free. Years later, I post on social media (maybe) once a year because I have found a new appreciation for privacy and sharing my life… in real life.
Thanks for sharing! 🧡
Thank you for resonating with this Jalisia!! Isn't that freedom after ‘leaving’ just INCREDIBLE?! 🕊️ May I ask how you decide when something is “worth” posting now? I’ve been wondering that lately… If I’ll ever go back to social media or how will I know if something is worth posting? I’m sure I’ll learn along the journey! But I’d love to hear your experience!
I once heard a preacher describe Insta and FB as shrines we build of ourselves. I'd long since abandoned both platforms but hearing that shook me. Do I have personal shrines elsewhere?
Woah. what a powerfullll perspective that just stopped me in my tracks, too!! It really makes you think about all the ways we might be curating versions of ourselves, even beyond social media. Your question about having shrines elsewhere is exactly the kind of deep reflection I'm sitting with lately too. Thank you for adding this layer to the conversation — it's going to stay with me. 🫂
Love this question! It's akin to one my Pastor asks: What have you made an idol of in your life?
I could almost cry at what you're describing. I'm starting my fourth business, and know what I "ought" to do for sustainable growth. Facebook, Instagram, yada yada yada. The last thing I posted I was just sick to my stomach. It felt inauthentic. I described social media as a shallow pool to a couple of friends I meet with regularly. I'm absolutely sick to death of it all. I encouraged them to head to Substack, where people actually *talk* to each other, instead of just clicking a like button. I believe the pendulum is swinging back the other way. People want depth and substance. At least I do. BTW, curiosity was my word for this year as well. Thankful for your thoughts! Keep 'em coming girlfriend. ;)
Goodness! That sick-to-your-stomach feeling is REAL! I love how you called it a shallow pool — that's exactly what it feels like, where we're all just splashing around trying to get attention instead of diving deep into what matters!!
P.S. how cool that curiosity was your word too!! It really does change everything once you start questioning all the "shoulds" we've been fed, doesn't it?! 🤯
Keep swimming in the deep end friend, there's so much more life there!
Such a colorful, relatable read. This year I’ve also felt the pull away from social media. I didn’t feel the need to take pictures to post. I was content really living a loving life, and wasn’t so pressed on convincing others that life was great for me. I can share something personal today, and then go 10 days and not share anything. I surprisingly don’t crave social media like I did. The need to update, stay in the know, etc. no longer my jam. I love connecting with God and actually being present with my family, and in my business.
Shaneel! Yesss to all of this! Breaking free from feeling like every moment needs to be documented is LIFE CHANGING isn't it?!
I love how you put it — "convincing others that life was great." There's something so beautiful about just living life instead of proving it. And what a gift to find more presence with God, family, and business in those unshared moments. 🫂
So much YES!!!
I enjoyed reading your post. I often have to remind myself that (almost) no one is posting the mess, the chaos, the real-life moments. They are only posting who they think others want them to be or what will drive likes and shares. I'm posting less frequently, often only from a milestone event or trip to keep family and friends abreast of what I've been up to. I'm enjoying Substack more, where I can be my true self, write from my heart, and feel at peace.
Thank you Michele 🩵 There's something so freeing about stepping away from the 'highlight reel' mindset, isn't it? I love that you've found your space on Substack where you can write without wondering if it's 'aesthetic' enough or if it'll get enough engagement. It's funny how we got so caught up in turning even our messiest, most human moments into something 'postable.' Wishing you continued peace in sharing your authentic story, milestone by milestone, word by word.
Loved this… absolutely relatable!
Thank you Shawna! It's comforting to know these thoughts resonate with others too. I’m learning that the most universal experiences are the ones we think we're going through alone! 🫂
Wheeew this is the ONE! Thank you for sharing and for your vulnerability. Your vulnerability is freeing people up to be more vulnerable. I am unlearning holding onto previous seasons when God is trying to do a new thing.
I’m in the thick of postpartum and it has me reevaluating my entire life! What matters, what I’m prioritizing…EVERYTHING. And while I am so thrilled to have my sweet daughter in the world, I’ve found myself truly grieving the previous season before she was here.
I’m different, my marriage is different, my schedule is different…everything feels…different. So I’ve been bringing this to the Lord and the other day He lead me to 1 Samuel 16. This chapter takes place after the Lord rejected Saul as king and chose David instead. In the first verse God is talking to Samuel and He said:
“The Lord said to Samuel, “How long are you going to mourn for Saul, since I have rejected him as king over Israel? Fill your horn with oil and go…”.
After reading this verse I realized I was mourning Saul (my previous season) and the Lord is calling me to fill my horn with oil and GO. It’s time to move forward because He’s doing a new thing and I know He doesn’t want me to miss what He’s currently doing because I’m looking too much at the past.
I know this was long, but I’m in the thick of this lesson and your reflections resonated with me so much. I’m grateful for the clarity that we have because we are in Christ. It’s such a gift and it really helps us to look at the world through a different lens. We need more conversations like this! 💗
I'm in the process of getting out of the box. For a long time I thought I could only talk about travel tips and travel related stuff because other wise "people wouldn't know what I sell"
As I'm stepping out of the box I'm noticing that my brand lacks depth and human connections. I've started to talk more about mental health and wellness. About managing the stress and overwhelm so that when you do go on vacation, you're not dreading returning to reality and you're not anxious the whole break because you know that it will be over in a few days.
I'm not sure if anyone cares but as part of the December challenge to just create for me, that's what I'm doing with the hope that someone can benefit from my experience and learn along side me as I figure out how to manage stress, recover from burn out and learn to enjoy life instead of always working hard to get to some mile marker of success.
This really resonated with me as I start my Substack journey. I decided not to share my newsletter on social media (yet), to allow myself to write and create without the need and itch for external validation from the people I know. I feel this ‘gaze’ from the people already in my life can sometimes keep me afraid of the expressing my authentic self creatively and truthfully. I want to cultivate my voice with self belief, and let it resonate with those on here that resonate with my work and those who can engage it with sustained attention. And in that I’ve noticed I’m spending less time on socials, and more time on here, trying to build community around Black feminist thought, and the theory and poetry and language that shapes my life. Thank you for this invitation to reflect on this. 🤎
Reading this article a year after it's publication and it still resonates. Social media is ONE way to build your business. But even in 2026, it’s not the ONLY way. Certainly, in many cases, not the most soul-aligned or authentic way.
If you’d like, you can build a business entirely through personal offline connections, Substack, or by attending conferences.
The only things I think you really NEED are an email list and a bias for action that’s rooted in service.